Dusty Hearts
by lettersfromyou
Summary: Its Renesmee's sixteenth birthday, but Jacob has a surprise for her. How will she take the news that he has been in love with her for all of her life? Will she feel the same? or will she push him away?


Chelsea Louise Simner

Dusty Hearts

It felt like so long since I'd seen him, my Jacob Black. I remember when I was a child, and he would carry me on his back whilst I snuggled into his deep fur, his touch keeping me warm in the cool air. His arms would restrict so tight around my body that I was convinced I was being crushed, but nobody was as careful with me as Jacob was. He had changed lately, since my sixteenth birthday was coming up and anticipated by my family. I knew it was hard for Jake, being around vampires when he was a werewolf, but he always seemed to stick around. Times have changed, though, and he seemed to pull away more, visiting less after my father had had a quiet word with him a few weeks before. I missed him, a lot.  
Today is my sixteenth birthday, and I'd earned the day off of school because of it. My mom promised me that Jacob would come and visit me, but I wasn't counting on it. I knew it was my father's fault for his lack of effort to see me, but I also understood that in his mind, he was protecting me.  
I climbed out of my bed, and went to brush my teeth. I could hear everyone downstairs, waiting for me, but there was no way I was going anywhere unless I looked decent. After cleaning my teeth and washing my face, I went back into the bedroom, only to get a big surprise. Whilst in the bathroom, everyone had placed presents and gifts on my bed, understanding that I took after my mother when it came to birthday's, and wasn't overly keen on being pampered.  
I eyed the packages suspiciously, knowing exactly which one had been bought by each member of my family. As I looked over the boxes, my eyes came across someone I wasn't expecting. His presence made me jump, but a stupid grin spread across my face quickly afterwards.  
"Jake?" I whispered, edging closer. He got to his feet, dressed in torn jeans and a thin t-shirt. He'd changed since I last saw him. His black hair had been cut again, cropped to the nape of his neck, and his seemed bigger, somehow bulkier. Had he been working out?  
I looked up at his face last, grinning wider.  
"Hey Ness" He smiled, coming closer to me. My instincts took over and I did what I always did with Jake; I ran to him. His arms caught me quickly, lifting me off the ground. I wound my legs round his waist, and hugged myself securely to his chest.  
"I'm so glad you came, Jake," I whispered, pulling him tighter, if it were possible. His lips pressed against my forehead, and I felt him nod.  
"Me too"  
It was only after catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror that I groaned and pulled back.  
"I look hideous" I grumbled, trying not to meet his gaze. He walked over to me, and picked up a brush on the way. Carefully as ever, he untangled my hair and smoothed it out along my back. It felt nice to have him there, caring for me like before he went away.  
"Jake, can I ask something? I don't mean to be rude or anything, I was just wondering about something I'd overheard"  
"You mean eavesdropped on. Go ahead" He told me, a certain edge to his voice that I didn't like.  
"Well, I heard mom and dad talking about imprinting. Some kind of werewolf thing, I was just wondering if you'd imprinted on anyone." I asked, trying to keep my tone light. He didn't answer at first, but kept brushing my now static hair. I waited for him to talk.  
"Yes" He answered huskily, not looking up from my back.  
"Who?" I pressed, wanting to know who'd stolen my Jacob's heart.  
He looked up at me, his eyes torn on whether or not to tell me. "It doesn't matter Ness, I'll leave so you can get dressed."  
"Jake, your my best friend, I've seen you get dressed before, as you have with me. Stop being a wimp and grab my white sweatshirt will you?"  
He obeyed, and handed me my t-shirt. I pulled off my night top, and replaced it with my new outfit. Jacob seemed awkward and quiet.  
"What's up Jake?" I asked, but he remained quiet. I walked over to him, eager to know why he was so withdrawn lately. "Have I done something wrong? You're hardly ever here anymore, and I don't know if I've done something wrong or if it was my dad or –"  
He cut me off by putting his finger to my lips. I stared up into his dark eyes.  
"It's you" He said to me, calm as a summer's day.  
"What have I done?" I asked, immediately going over the past in my head. I couldn't think of anything or was it that I was just a horrible person for him to be around? I debated this, and he could tell I was getting distressed.  
"You haven't done anything wrong Renesmee," He drew a deep, sharp breath before he spoke again. "I have imprinted. I thought it was your mother at first, but I turned out to be so wrong. The only reason I was so drawn to her was because of you,"  
"Oh," I murmured, looking down at his feet. They were larger than before.  
"I'm sorry, but you asked me and I told you the truth. I only want to be here Ness, to care for you like I always have, be the big brother you never had, but now you're getting older, it's harder to think of you as my little sister anymore."  
It was hard, absorbing this information, but I did it anyway. I couldn't understand how I never saw this coming. His words ran over and over again in my head. _"The only reason I was so drawn to her was because of you." _My heart began to ache.  
When I finally looked up, he was staring down at me. I could almost feel his gaze rip through me.  
"What does this mean?" I asked, "Does it mean your going to go away again? If you can't see me how you used to, how can you bare to be around me?" I was so confused as to what was going on that I began to cry.  
"Ah Ness, don't cry. C'mon, I won't go away if you don't want me to, I won't let it change anything, I promise" I knew he was trying to soothe me, but I still continued to sob quietly.  
"But you said you don't see me how you used to, what does that mean?!" Anger began to bubble up inside of me, purely because I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on.  
"It means that," –It was obvious he felt awkward saying what ever he wanted to say, because he kept pausing and looking away- "that I don't feel how I used to, I don't feel like your big brother anymore Ness, I feel like I should be...like I should be your lover."  
I heard the break on the last word, as he looked away. I didn't know what to do with this information, what I was supposed to do with it. His large fingers wiped my tears away and my eyes closed in contentment. I felt his lips press to my forehead, before he whispered in my ear, "I'm in love with you Renesmee Cullen, I'll always be watching over you, always. It's okay that you don't feel the same, I can live with that, just be happy. Happy birthday Ness," I wanted to scream out, to tell him to shut up and let me talk, but he was gone. The curtains on my window blew in the wind, and I saw his figure run into the trees. I turned to be faced by a lot of presents. This was not what I needed right now. One present seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. There was small box, separated from the rest of the gifts, sitting at the end of my bed. It was wrapped up in silver wrapping paper, with a small note attached.  
It read, _  
for you, Renesmee, the only one I ever wanted. I wish there was an easier way to do this, but, here goes. I love you Ness, always have and always will.  
Jacob x_

I sighed. It was the only reaction that seemed feasible to me. I could imagine him, writing the note and taking forever to think of the right thing to say. I just wished that I could make it easier for him.  
I eased the paper off of the box, and ran my fingers over the satin cover before I even thought about opening it. Finally plucking up the courage to do so, I pinched the lid open. Inside, laid a beautiful necklace, with a small oval pendant lying weightlessly at the bottom. There was a small inscription on the pendant, a quote from my favourite film, "I'll never let go, J x" I set the box down on the bedside table and continued to get dressed. I tied my hair neatly up in a ponytail, and then put the necklace on. It seemed to weigh a tonne.  
After sucking in a deep breath, I walked downstairs. Alice was the first to greet me, trying to act nonchalant but I knew she'd overheard every word. My mother was the next to come over, hugging me and wishing me a happy birthday. I took all of their words in, but only Jacob's birthday wish seemed to stay with me. I forced a smile, as did my family, but I knew they were as distressed as I was. My mother took me outside, walking beside me with an awkward look filling her eyes.  
"You heard, didn't you?" I said, more a statement than a question.  
"Yes honey," She answered after a moment's silence. "Look, Jacob's a good guy. We knew he'd imprinted on you since you were a baby, but there was nothing we could do but deal with it. That's what you have to do honey, you have to deal with it. Whether you feel the same or not,"  
"What do I do mom? I'm so confused, one minute he's my best friend, the next he'd telling me he's in love with me" It must've been hard for her, because even I could hear the sadness in my voice.  
"Do you love him Nessie?" She asked suddenly, and it hit me like a brick wall. It took me a moment to think, "Yes,"  
"But are you _in_ love with him?" She asked soon after,  
"I don't know what that feels like mom, all I know is that when he's around, I feel so safe, and happy, I just want him there forever" I whispered, and my mom began to smile,  
"Sounds to me like your in love with him, sweetheart."  
This should have come as a shock to me, but it didn't because I guess I'd known all along. He was my Jacob; he was everywhere, all the time. When he was sad, I was sad, when he was happy, I was happy. Everything seemed clear to me now, I was in love with him, and I needed to tell him.  
I got my cell phone out and dialled his number; it rang four times before he picked up.  
"Nessie," He whispered into the phone, and I answered with a smile.  
"It's me Jake," I assured him, "Can you come over please?" I asked, and his answer was a yes. I ran inside the house, and up to my bedroom to get changed, because for some reason, I felt like he deserved a pretty girl to greet him at the door. The door knocked about 10 minutes later, and I ran to answer it. The first thing I did was hug him, so tight I thought I was cutting the circulation off in my body. His arms wound around my waist, and although I knew we had an audience, I still knotted my fingers in his hair and pressed my lips to his.  
His lips burned against mine, but the heat made no difference. His hand slid up my side, drawing me closer as my body bowed against his. I smiled, and pushed him out the door, closing our audience off from the show. My lips met his again, as his fingers lingered over my skin. I shivered as a chill ran through my spine, but it wasn't from the cold. His lips forced mine open, and I felt the rush of heat fill my mouth. It felt amazing to have such a connection with somebody, such a relationship that we didn't have to be careful with each other. I broke off for air, but not once did his lips leave my skin, instead, he kissed along my jaw and down my neck.  
"I love you, Jacob" I whispered, my eyes closing.  
"I know" He replied, breaking the connection of lips against my skin. I stood up straight, looking into his eyes.  
"This is so weird," I giggled, "Is being in love supposed to feel such...such a high?" I asked, and he chuckled darkly,  
"I'm as new to this as you are" He told me, smiling all the time. His hand found mine, and intertwined our fingers together. He kissed the top of my hand, and led me back inside, to face my family.


End file.
